What's wrong with me?

*A write-up of my recent unit trip to Tioman can be read at Tioman unit trip*


What's wrong with me nowadays?
Some days I feel so moody
Some days I feel so cranky
Yet some days I feel totally fine and on top of the world
And it's not just limited to days
It could just be a matter of a few hours

There's a change going on inside of me
Yet I do not know what's going on
I just feel that somehow I'm different
For better or for worse, I must accept
the change going on inside of me
And learn to deal and cope with it
To make me a stronger and better person

Some days I feel that the burden of the world
is on my shoulders
Some days I feel so carefree and uninhibited
When the tide of darkness rolls in
I feel that I'm a more sinister person
Even the nicest of person that cross my path
Can expect to suffer the wrath of my vileness

On nicer days even my most hated ones
Can expect a nice nod and an odd smile from me
What's wrong with me?
Does it have to do with my new job or new country?
Or is it just the new people I'm meeting everyday?
Sometimes I feel so alone and cold
Even though I'm surrounded by 4million souls
On this cramped island of which I call home for now

I need something to distract me
Something to put me back on the right path again
To mend the brokenness I feel inside
What is that something I wonder & ponder?
What is the release that shall set me free
Or to cure me of my dilemma, problems and disrepair?
These thoughts shall fill my head time and time again
As I every waking day passes
And every night before I depart to bed
As these private thoughts lull me into my slumber...


*these words were penned when completely sober*