Ups n Downs...

Some days I'm fine and some days I feel like shit. Today is the latter. And the thing taking the brunt of this shit is my car. It's being over-accelerated and over-braked overtaking recklessly whilst being bombarded by loud booming bass coming from the 12" Audiobahn woofer while doing so. So yeah, poor car. And oh yeah not forgetting my half-dear ear drums too. Supposedly Sony's mp3 player at full volume does not appeal to me cos it only feels like what I would play my Ipod on at 3/4 volume. So yea fuck it...

Hobbies

Times have changed. Not too long back, before computers became the norm in our daily lives, most people would list their hobbies as reading books, fishing, football, sports, collecting stamps (???), etc etc. The point is the focus is more on tangible things and things which we do with our hands & legs. Nowadays hobbies include things like chatting on the internet, surfing the internet, playing computer games and other things computer related. Basically now most hobbies revolve around the computer or internet. We have evolved into a lazy species progressively from being active people to coach potatoes (stuck to the television) and now to the computer. Only difference from being glued to the television than the computer is the content which we get to choose to see on the computer. Hence the copious amount of time we spend sitting in front of the computer doing all those things we love to do on it. On the extreme end, online gamers get so involved in online games that their real lives take a toll. Their girlfriends get fed-up and leave them, they eat and sleep little thus suffering from various symptoms produced by this mania.

This obsession with the internet has also filtered through to the corporate world where we see almost every major corporation around the world relying in one way or another on computers or the internet. I'm not saying that it's bad or anything because it has made the way in which business is more efficient and effective. However it has also replaced conventional methods like face to face meetings/discussions and the traditional pen and paper. The email has in turn become a mask from which we can hide ourselves, edited and spell checked before the Send button is clicked. Everything request and memo needs to be emailed to everyone involved so that it can appear in black n white. From top management where meetings are no conducted through video conversations to lower level staff sending short memos to each other when they can easily walk over to the other person's cubicle and relay the message or ask the question. Whatever happened to good old fashioned discussions at the staff water-cooler or break room. This is where conversations are spontaneous and impromptu and it also fosters closer working ties among colleagues. Instead we choose to hide behind the cold hard wall of emails. So the next time you send an email or choose to use the computer for entertainment, think again. Move your ass and maybe have a warm meaningful exchange of words with someone or maybe just do something different with your hands for a change.


Have a cuppa...

the end of a golden era...

Happy Birthday!

Well today's my good friend's birthday. Known him since primary school or even earlier. He got a nice spanking new acoustic guitar for his birthday. Woohoo. Well in case there are any ladies out there interested in him and his guitar playing ways, there's an ugly mug of him below of him serenading the webcam. Haha. Happy Birthday bro! Best Wishes!

Fuck...

I just found out something last night which made me feel like shit, utter shit. It doesn't come as a surprise really but the fact that it has been confirmed makes it even worse. I guess sometimes not knowing is better than knowing. I was suppose to study late last night but after I found out about this, the mood all flew out the window. I closed my books, off the lights and went off to bed, muttering obscenities under my breath as I walked along. This is really the final nail in the coffin. It really made my blood boil, provoking emotions of sadness, sorrow, anger, hate, bitterness and vengeance. I don't know why this is affecting me so much but it is and I can't help it. It literally consumes me to the point that I have to do something about it. How can people be so hypocritical? They preach ideals yet they practice shit. This feeling I have now is the closest I will ever get to being suicidal. I dunno why it affects be this way but it does.

People who kill themselves are often seen as cowards, taking the easy way out but other people do not understand these people and assume that it's the easy way out but sometimes it's the only way out. I think these people are brave and courageous. Do you know how much balls is needed to kill oneself? It takes lots of guts, guts of which I sadly do not have at the moment. I have done research on ways to execute the final blow but the most suited way for me would be to drive really fast along a straight road and swerve left or right at breakneck speeds, maybe hitting a tree or a lamppost. All this without seatbelts of course. I guess if I were to go I would at least go doing what I enjoy doing which is driving. People are driven to the point of no return by the people around them and it is not realised that there is a problem until he is gone? So what? Do people never learn? It's just a statistic, it's never personal until it affects you so why bother. I do not know how I'm going to cope with the hours, days, weeks and months to come.


...