Little Is Much When God Is In It... {John 6:1-15}

Today was Sunday and I went to church to listen to what good news God had for me today. The title of today’s sermon was ‘Little is much when God is in it’. It’s such a simple message yet so powerful at the same time. Such is the power of God’s words. The main verse for the sermon was John 6 : 1-15 which is basically about the feeding of 5000 men by Jesus with five loaves and two fishes, given by an unnamed boy. I think part of the reason why this boy is unnamed is because this boy represents who we potentially can be, as opposed to who we are now, like Philip and Andrew.

Little is much when God is in it. It reminds us again of how little we have, something we’re all so aware of but time and time again we seek to get more but not through God but through our own mortal means. It goes back to why probably many ‘successful’ men can have so much in their lives yet at the same time feels so empty, because the thing that they should be seeking is God. This reminds me of the pondering from Day 12 (Fri, 14^th Dec) of the AG4 21-Day Fasting & Praying Guide.

“The world honors those who are intelligent, beautiful, rich and powerful. Yet many a time, in the kingdom of God, God does otherwise to use the foolish and shame the wise, simple because He sees the hearts.”

He sees the heart. We may have little but when we give what little we have and give thanks to Him, we shall reap in abundance. Pastor Jeff was saying that we will ALWAYS have problems. There will be problems to which we have limited resources to solve and problems that have overwhelming needs, but these circumstances are understandable, for we have little and there is always a problem beyond us BUT not beyond God. So we should learn to look to Jesus instead to solve us problems just like how we went to Him for Salvation. James 1:5 states that “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” He will provide when we ask. He will provide with what we need, not what we want.

The service ended of with a POWERFUL rendition of Corrinne May’s Five Loaves And Two Fishes. And by powerful I don’t just mean the voice of the singer, but I also felt the power of God speaking through those words, to my heart, and probably to many more too. There was probably a good reason why they dimmed the lights for the song. Pure beauty, pure joy… What an ending befitting of God’s awesome power. Simple yet so powerful.

I think as Christmas approaches, we should all renew our faith and offer to Him what little we have and give thanks for that little we have. Amen. Amen...

*you think you've read the story five loaves and two fishes but everytime you read it, there's just so much more to learn from it. Arsenal 1 - 0 Chelsea. Praise the Lord.*

Repentance...

*i've traveled on many journeys with you, just not the journey to heaven and for that i regret ~ JC*

I started going to church about a month back or so. This is the first time I've been to church voluntarily. I guess it was just a search for more profound answers, a search which lead to God. I guess this search gets more pronounced when you start working where you start questioning your purpose in life and the whole meaning to it. And when you go to church and see the people in it and how God touched their life and somehow even though they come from different backgrounds and different walks of life, you can see the hands of God moving in them. They just live with a zest for life, moving with a purpose, a purpose with God.

When I accepted Jesus in my life last sunday, I didn't felt the over joyous feeling described by some people. Instead I felt this wash of inner calm flow over me, a feeling of peace and silent joy, as if a storm calmed by God's hands. Till today that thought still puts a smile on my face whenever I think about it. I think that storm was all the burdens of life which I was carrying all this while and now that He is by my side, He has lifted that burden from my shoulders and set me free. This is of course followed by many thoughts and feelings to which is too overwhelming to describe. But most of all I thank all who have share their lives with me, how they came to meet God and how it changed their lives. This is just the beginning of a long journey, a journey of ups and downs. The only difference from before is that now I have Him by my side. God bless...

If only...

Choices

Our lives are dictated by the choices and decisions we make. Every choice, small or big, we make will have repercussions, whether now or in the future. That is why it is important to isolate each and every moment we live in and see each moment for what it really is, that moment. We must detach any emotions or feelings we might have for that moment and look at it for that moment itself and see it without bias. It sounds easier than it seems but by doing this, we make a choice based on that moment itself without bias and by doing so, the ultimate best end result can be achieved. We achieve self-realisation. For further thoughts, go watch the movie, The Drummer.

On another note of making choices, not doing anything is also making a choice. You have made a choice not to do anything. Hence not doing anything about your current situation does not mean you're better off. A good illustration would be someone who's contented with his life or just can't be bothered to advance when he/she could be doing something better. Someone who has a reasonable job which allows him/her to work from 9-5 and pays an average salary. He/she on the other hand could go for more training, as it's so thoroughly emphasized by the Singapore government, and advance further in his/her career and take on more responsibilities and achieve something better for himself/herself. There are many cases of people who have just completed secondary education but have went on to take courses to better themselves and hence their respective companies have recognised this initiative to learn and better themselves and promoted them. Ultimately, it's up to YOU. There are both sides of the argument as always but it boils down to one thing.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Hence the CHOICE of doing something about it or not doing anything about it. What do you want out of life ladies and gentlemen?

*a nice way to distract myself from studying for my exam and offloading my thoughts...

MOS Trance Event: The Nightmare before Halloween

Feat. TRANSMISSION with PAUL JOHNSON (UK)

www.ministryofsound.com.sg/halloween

Twas’ the night before Halloween
When He awoke from slumber’s keep
For only this one night a year
He was free with fellow ghouls to creep
Drowsy from days gone past
His crave for Music was rightly just
So He dons this fur of white
To keep the Pumpkin away from sight
And thus begins this search to quench
His need for Trance and yearning for Dance

And now we invite you to join us at this fearsome scene
At The Ministry of Sound’s Nightmare before Halloween

Celebrating only the credible Trance music producers from the past to present day, Paul Johnson (UK) will take you on an uplifting trip as he brings you on a melodic journey with killer riffs and epic anthems in the main arena.

Embrace the sound that is fronted by the likes of Armin van Buuren, Above & Beyond, Paul van Dyk, Ferry Corsten and Tiësto - who are among last year's top 20 DJs.

Transmission isn't just another night, it is a gearshift to take you higher.

ALL IN FULL HALLOWEEN COSTUME ENTER FOR FREE!

Cover charges on 27 OCTOBER :
Before 10.30pm - $15 for men and $12 for ladies (both covers include 1 drink) and
After 10.30pm - $25 for men and $20 for ladies (both covers include 2 drinks)

Happiness...

Happiness is a butterfly which when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp,
but which,
if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.

The Forsaken by William Wordsworth

The peace which other seek they find;
The heaviest storms not longest last;
Heaven grants even to the guiltiest mind
An amnesty for what is past;
When will my sentence be reversed?
I only pray to know the worst;
And wish as if my heart would burst.

O weary struggle! silent year
Tell seemingly no doubtful tale;
And yet they leave it short, and fear
And hopes are strong and will prevail.
My calmest faith escapes not pain;
And, feeling that the hope in vain,
I think that she will come again.

to quit or not to quit...

went to see those nicotine patch thingy today. costs like $35 per box which lasts for 7 days. but they're having promotion with $55 for 2 boxes which means 1 month will cost about $110. that's about how how i spend on cigarettes in a month anyway. so the question now is to quit or not to quit? it's like giving up on a very dependable old friend, one which has always been there for me, one that calms me down regardless time or day. only time will tell...

Suicidal tendencies...

I'm sure many people have, at one point of time or another, thought of committing suicide. That thought comes when you reach a certain point in your life where all seems lost and there's no hope other than to end life itself. Some people however have not been through this feeling as their lives are all rosy and dandy. For those of us who have been through this feeling however, it seems that the only way to solve our problems is to end life itself. The problem we face seem so unsolvable that the only way to 'solve' it is to 'cure' it once and for all. It's a somewhat liberating feeling to know that you're finally ending that problem. However most problems aren't that extreme to the extent that you would actually 'cure' it as it takes a lot of courage to actually go through with the act itself. Therefore there are times when you wish someone would do it for you. And there are many a times when I actually wish something or someone would actually do it on my behalf. For eg. when crossing the road, I wished some raving drunkard would come throttling along in his car and hit the shit out of me. Or when I was in Genting riding the amusement rides, that it would fall and crash hurtling to the ground below and smash into a million pieces, bringing me along to my maker. Or when the train or bus I'm riding on would explode into smithereens through the will of some terrorist. Who knows... Somehow, somewhere I wish someone/something... would take the will to live out of me, to end me of my misery... Only God knows...

What Lips My Lips Have Kissed...

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

Bitterness

Stephen Crane

In the Desert

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter – bitter", he answered,
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

night owl...

It's 4.45am in the morning and I'm still in the office. On top of that it's a Saturday night. I've finished what I needed to do about an hour ago. However I'm too cheapskate to take a cab home alone so I'm waiting on another colleague to finish up so that we can share the cab. Listening to songs on my laptop whilst surfing around on super fast internet. Too bad nobody to call at this ungodly hour if not that would have been another thing to do. Probably by now most people would be on the way home after a heavy night of partying. On the other hand I'm typing this blog with my brain half-dead and not necessarily looking forward to the 9-5pm CPA workshop I have tomorrow. After that I would be catching Evan Almighty at the cinemas with a group of friends. A relatively nice and relaxing way to enjoy the Sunday except that I'm afraid I might not have the energy to enjoy it. Haha.

I'm so looking forward to moving out of my current place and into my new place on 1st October. It's not just the addition of the aircon but also the much suited (to me) living environment. Living with people with whom you can relate to is much better than living in a somewhat gilded bird cage, whereby it may look cheap and good but it's not all it's hyped up to be. I used to say, Why pay for things which you can get for free? Then I told that to a colleague one day and he replied, But what you get for free may not always be good. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys. Not sure how that's related but it's true. A lot of the times in life, you pay more you get better stuff. It's a luxury not all can afford but if you can then it's better. For example, you buy a Mercedes, it's resale value later on is much higher than let's say a Toyota. No doubt you're paying more for the Merc now but hey it's more comfortable and it'll last you longer. This is of course typical for an accountant to think this way, in terms of depreciation. But like I mentioned before, not everyone can afford a Merc so at some point of time we realise that we have to live within our means. What you're willing to pay and what you'll get for it. Despite this I think we should all try to live life to the max. Push ourselves harder and farther. Work hard and play hard. Try things we've never tried before, do things we've never done before and go where we've never been before. Life outside our comfort zone. C'est la vie...

Man's best friend

May I introduce to man's best friend. For a small price only, it gets you well and high. And for this special offer only, the time you spend having it, all your problems will slowly ebb away into the night. Why does fate tempt me yet leave me empty? The emptiness I feel inside is echoing away into my heart and reverberating into more emptiness. I feel so alive at times yet at times I feel as if I'm nothing. NOTHING!!! Sometimes I feel we're just merely toys of God, him fooling around with us as He wish. Just like Sim City. We're just being fucked around like mere mortals in Sim City sending us quakes, hurricanes, typhoons, tsunamis and what have you. And on a smaller scale, we get dealt shitty cards in life. It's a lousy hand in poker and unfortunately this streak of lousy hands doesn't end.

On another note, a game of bridge is like sex, if you haven't got a good partner, just hope that you've got a good hand.

Well boys and girls as life and fate is screwing with us, the only and best way to escape all this bullshit is through our dear best friend above and only for RM10 for 3 cans, it's a fucking steal. Get it while it lasts because the damn 'gahmen' is going to increase the sin tax....

Assumption

I assume a lot of things. Not because I'm too lazy to think about something, therefore I assume but rather because I've thought a lot about it and therefore have come to a reasonable conclusion/assumption. There is no concrete evidence but the circumstances surrounding it becomes, not obvious but just plainly pointing to one conclusion. Oh well we'll just have to see whether my assumption is true or not... A very tiring Friday night/Saturday morning post@2am. Have to wake up early to play football at 10am tomorrow some more. Oh well living life on adrenaline is fun.

What's wrong with me?

*A write-up of my recent unit trip to Tioman can be read at Tioman unit trip*


What's wrong with me nowadays?
Some days I feel so moody
Some days I feel so cranky
Yet some days I feel totally fine and on top of the world
And it's not just limited to days
It could just be a matter of a few hours

There's a change going on inside of me
Yet I do not know what's going on
I just feel that somehow I'm different
For better or for worse, I must accept
the change going on inside of me
And learn to deal and cope with it
To make me a stronger and better person

Some days I feel that the burden of the world
is on my shoulders
Some days I feel so carefree and uninhibited
When the tide of darkness rolls in
I feel that I'm a more sinister person
Even the nicest of person that cross my path
Can expect to suffer the wrath of my vileness

On nicer days even my most hated ones
Can expect a nice nod and an odd smile from me
What's wrong with me?
Does it have to do with my new job or new country?
Or is it just the new people I'm meeting everyday?
Sometimes I feel so alone and cold
Even though I'm surrounded by 4million souls
On this cramped island of which I call home for now

I need something to distract me
Something to put me back on the right path again
To mend the brokenness I feel inside
What is that something I wonder & ponder?
What is the release that shall set me free
Or to cure me of my dilemma, problems and disrepair?
These thoughts shall fill my head time and time again
As I every waking day passes
And every night before I depart to bed
As these private thoughts lull me into my slumber...


*these words were penned when completely sober*

NOTICE

Companies don't need any physical fitness programs.

Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down the boss, knifing friends in the back, dodging responsibility and pushing their luck.

Enjoy your day @ work...

life...

It's funny how life changes when you're working. When you're studying you're exposed more or less to the people who are around your age and that's all good and fine because their wavelength is more or less similar to yours. However when you work, you're exposed to people of all different ages, races, religions and etc. You get the idea. Hence your perspective totally changes and not only that, you probably change too. In that way, whether you want it or not, your maturity level sorts of increase as well. And that sort of sucks because part of you still wants to be young and fool around and not be prim and proper. On the other hand, being working and seeing more 'things' so to speak, you want to explore more 'adult' stuff and maybe/probably/possibly leave a part of your non-working past behind and move onto your new life with your job and your pay and the endless possibilities you can do with it. For some, the feelings may not be as extreme, as they might not have moved to a new place to work as I have, but some similar feelings of that sort might still be present. It is really a mixed feelings of sort and learning how to deal with it and sort it out will eventually help you manage you life more productively and effectively. Oh well can't wait for my first pay to come, then I can start planning how to use it ;)

platonic relationships...

it's funny how people who are considered adult working professional still have a very prudish view of relationships between two people of the opposite sex. in this day and age you would even more so expect people to think that it's perfectly normal for two people of the opp sex to be able to hang out with each other without any other agenda other than being just friends. however this is not the case. like if a guy & a girl were to go out for lunch or dinner or just to hang out to go to the movies or chill out in a cafe or just to go shopping together, people would automatically assume there's something more going on. oh come on, we live in the 21st century where the notion of gender equality and feminism is so much widely accepted in the developed nations that people can just be friends without anything more than that. like if a two people of the same sex were to go out and do those things mentioned together it would perfectly alright yet if two people of the opposite sex were to do the same, a different thought would automatically pop into people's minds. like talk about double standards. i mean what i say may or may not be true but whatever i say now might not make a difference to the world but this is just me putting my 2 cents worth into the issue and hopefully it might be worth more than that, 2 cents that is...

an utter insult...

i've been seconded to l & d (which is another dept which is non-audit related). 3 yrs of training in accountancy and this is what they throw me for my first job. omfg!!! i'm doing admin related stuff which is exactly what i did during my internship. i didn't complete my final year of uni just to do the same thing during my internship. i'm so pent-up i need some release, some 'real' release... i dunno why i'm so worked up about this issue but i just am. i need some real experience not sitting around... argghhhhhhhhhhh

life

life is scary. there are so many variables and unknowns. unlike a math equation where there are only a few variables and unknowns for you to solve, life has like an infinite amount of those. and through these different variables and unknowns which you assume over time, your life can take so many different courses. sadly, or should i say thankfully, there is a constant. death...

maternal instints...

Do all women have some sort of inbuilt maternal instincts or what? Today at training, when asked where do we see ourselves in 5 years time, a few of the females gave responses like having a family or having kids. I mean the reason why the trainer asked such a question was to get an idea of our professional aspirations and goals but somehow the issue of motherhood always crops up. Even my approximately 60 yr old landlady said that she treats me like her own son and I'm like woahh, hold on there my mother is way younger than you are. Go figure...

a reunion of an ah pek and 2 ah mas...

A picture taken at a hangout place called Wala Wala at Holland Village, Singapore. It's surprising how life takes its twists and turns and end up reuniting people in the most unique circumstances. Oh well, that's life... and of course yea where's you, Renald?

Good Morning

Morning boys and girls. It's 3.30am local time and yes I just got back from drinking beer at Jerudong beach wit my 2 drinking buddies, good friends from Miri who came down to spend their last study week wit my in Brunei, a last gathering of sorts before we depart for our own ways. It's a nice way to spend the night, drinking n talking and reminiscing about past, present and future. A good way to spend time indeed. This was after we had a buffet dinner at the airport restaurant courtesy of my wonderful parents and after that we went for the 9.30pm Ocean's 13 movie at the mall. It is indeed a glorious wonderful night with good food, good company and good old red star (Heineken). Amen. Words cannot describe an experience like this. You have to experience it for yourself. Just sitting there at the beach is an experience with the sea breeze blowing at you while consuming beer and eating peanuts. Surprisingly there were still people playing about in the water. Oh well I guess we're not only the crazy ones. Anyway we're back at home now and it's time to say good night to this wonderful night. It's off to fine city soon and that's when the fun ends and the seriousness begins. Oh well all good things must come to an end. Signing off, geeky69...

Salvation...

Ups n Downs...

Some days I'm fine and some days I feel like shit. Today is the latter. And the thing taking the brunt of this shit is my car. It's being over-accelerated and over-braked overtaking recklessly whilst being bombarded by loud booming bass coming from the 12" Audiobahn woofer while doing so. So yeah, poor car. And oh yeah not forgetting my half-dear ear drums too. Supposedly Sony's mp3 player at full volume does not appeal to me cos it only feels like what I would play my Ipod on at 3/4 volume. So yea fuck it...

Hobbies

Times have changed. Not too long back, before computers became the norm in our daily lives, most people would list their hobbies as reading books, fishing, football, sports, collecting stamps (???), etc etc. The point is the focus is more on tangible things and things which we do with our hands & legs. Nowadays hobbies include things like chatting on the internet, surfing the internet, playing computer games and other things computer related. Basically now most hobbies revolve around the computer or internet. We have evolved into a lazy species progressively from being active people to coach potatoes (stuck to the television) and now to the computer. Only difference from being glued to the television than the computer is the content which we get to choose to see on the computer. Hence the copious amount of time we spend sitting in front of the computer doing all those things we love to do on it. On the extreme end, online gamers get so involved in online games that their real lives take a toll. Their girlfriends get fed-up and leave them, they eat and sleep little thus suffering from various symptoms produced by this mania.

This obsession with the internet has also filtered through to the corporate world where we see almost every major corporation around the world relying in one way or another on computers or the internet. I'm not saying that it's bad or anything because it has made the way in which business is more efficient and effective. However it has also replaced conventional methods like face to face meetings/discussions and the traditional pen and paper. The email has in turn become a mask from which we can hide ourselves, edited and spell checked before the Send button is clicked. Everything request and memo needs to be emailed to everyone involved so that it can appear in black n white. From top management where meetings are no conducted through video conversations to lower level staff sending short memos to each other when they can easily walk over to the other person's cubicle and relay the message or ask the question. Whatever happened to good old fashioned discussions at the staff water-cooler or break room. This is where conversations are spontaneous and impromptu and it also fosters closer working ties among colleagues. Instead we choose to hide behind the cold hard wall of emails. So the next time you send an email or choose to use the computer for entertainment, think again. Move your ass and maybe have a warm meaningful exchange of words with someone or maybe just do something different with your hands for a change.


Have a cuppa...

the end of a golden era...

Happy Birthday!

Well today's my good friend's birthday. Known him since primary school or even earlier. He got a nice spanking new acoustic guitar for his birthday. Woohoo. Well in case there are any ladies out there interested in him and his guitar playing ways, there's an ugly mug of him below of him serenading the webcam. Haha. Happy Birthday bro! Best Wishes!

Fuck...

I just found out something last night which made me feel like shit, utter shit. It doesn't come as a surprise really but the fact that it has been confirmed makes it even worse. I guess sometimes not knowing is better than knowing. I was suppose to study late last night but after I found out about this, the mood all flew out the window. I closed my books, off the lights and went off to bed, muttering obscenities under my breath as I walked along. This is really the final nail in the coffin. It really made my blood boil, provoking emotions of sadness, sorrow, anger, hate, bitterness and vengeance. I don't know why this is affecting me so much but it is and I can't help it. It literally consumes me to the point that I have to do something about it. How can people be so hypocritical? They preach ideals yet they practice shit. This feeling I have now is the closest I will ever get to being suicidal. I dunno why it affects be this way but it does.

People who kill themselves are often seen as cowards, taking the easy way out but other people do not understand these people and assume that it's the easy way out but sometimes it's the only way out. I think these people are brave and courageous. Do you know how much balls is needed to kill oneself? It takes lots of guts, guts of which I sadly do not have at the moment. I have done research on ways to execute the final blow but the most suited way for me would be to drive really fast along a straight road and swerve left or right at breakneck speeds, maybe hitting a tree or a lamppost. All this without seatbelts of course. I guess if I were to go I would at least go doing what I enjoy doing which is driving. People are driven to the point of no return by the people around them and it is not realised that there is a problem until he is gone? So what? Do people never learn? It's just a statistic, it's never personal until it affects you so why bother. I do not know how I'm going to cope with the hours, days, weeks and months to come.


...

Food Review: Losan Nasi Lemak...

Reputedly one of the best nasi lemak in Brunei. The reason why it's called Losan is because it's sold from someone's residence and the building in which it's located is called Losan. Have been craving it for the past week or so and finally went to buy it tonight.

Six packs of goodness

What it looks like... Yummm...

So simple yet so satisfying and fulfilling. Only 70 cents...

Rice, hard-boiled egg, sambal, anchovies and slices of cucumber...

All well-mixed together. Notice the egg on top...


Well it's down my stomach now. Sooo satisfied... Too bad the pictures can't capture and aroma and taste of it. The pictures don't do justice. Haha. I know you miss it too so enjoy the pics, Bon.

Countdown to D-day...

Essentially 3 more days to exam time. It's been so long since my last exam and it's been so very different with this one. No lecturer nor tutorial to attend. No hot chicks in sexy nothings to look at during classes. No boring lecturer to drone on and on. No presentations nor assignments nor reports to do. Just me and the damn notes. It's been a different experience which I need to adjust to soon especially with work coming on soon. Sigh. Life is a juggling act. Miss the balls and they all fall on you and you have to start all over. Hopefully these will help with exam preparation... Hehehe...


On a different note, it's been a sad day that another one of us has fallen. I really feel for you knowing very well what you've been through, what you're going through and what you're going to go through. There's really no words to explain it nor to help it in any way except to hang in there. As many have told me before and probably many will tell you the same, which I have not believed in, time will heal.

Love...

The title of this post is Love or rather the non-existence of it. Yes you heard me right boys and girls there is NO such thing as love. I'm like the guy who tells the kids that there's no Santa Claus. I'm here to tell you why I think there's no such thing and hopefully you will think so too so that we can stop this disease from spreading. Guys only came up with the notion of love to bang the chicks and girls came up with the notion of love to get the guy's money. And that funny queasy feeling you get at the pits of your stomach when you think you're in love, NO that's not love either. That just means you're about to puke from kissing that gross mouth of his/hers.

So what do people do when they're in love? They do a lot of things they wouldn't normally do especially for him or her under the pretext of love. That's the whole point of a relationship, not love. It's to have someone do the things you can't or won't do. Examples are like to buy 'gifts' for each other cos the person can't afford it or to wash his clothes or to cook or just simple everyday chores or errands. It's having someone do them for you. It's called a relationship of convenience, another reason why long-distance relationships never work. Because that other person isn't there to do all these stuff for you any longer. Simple fact, live with it...

So what about marriage you may ask? Well marriage just means the guy has found someone he feels like fucking for the rest of his life and girls just found someone who will give her money for the rest of her life. For guys it also means a free maid and for girls a free handyman. On a side note, the definition of success for a guy is to earn more money than his wife can spend and for a woman is to find such a guy. And why do marriages last so long? Well it's simple really. Human beings being the lazy creatures that they are, just get too lazy to change things.

Finally you may ask what about parents and their kids. Well the kids are a result of their parents folly. So what have got the parents to do but to take care of their kids if not the social welfare people will be riding up their asses. Yes kids there is actually laws to punish so called bad parents so there's no such thing as love there either. And to end it off how about siblings you may ask? Well it doesn't mean that you came out from the same hole as me I've gotta give a fuck about you. _|_



*Disclaimer*
The views expressed in this post does not necessarily reflect the views of Blogger and is the sole expression of the author of this blog so if you have any shit to say about what the fuck he just said please kindly leave your discontentment in the comments or chat box on the right.

something to lighten things up...

(Got this from a friend)

The five worst things about being a penis

1. You're bald.
2. You have a hole in your head.
3. You hang around with two nuts.
4. You live next to an asshole.
5. You have this strange disease where you suddenly
stand up straight, vomit, and then fall asleep.

ANZAC Day...

They shall grow not old
As we who are left grow old
Age shall not weary them
Nor the years condemn
At the going down of the sun
And in the morning
We will remember them

Lest We Forget

the fight begins...

Just had my first limteh session without smoking. Omg it was pure torture. Could smell the smoke, could see people smoking and could see the ashtray on the table. The feeling was horrible. My body felt weak and the nausea kicked in. Whenever I can smell the 2nd hand smoke from others it felt strangely good as if I was missing out on something. The agitation and the slight shaking of the limbs came later. I was really in pain. I felt as if I needed to punch
something/someone to let it all out. I was in need now more than ever and there was nothing/no-one to satisfy that need. it all ends with my favorite words, fuck fuck fuck...

random thoughts...

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Ramblings of an insane mind

Why does everything get blamed on you? Even if it has no link whatsoever it gets blamed on you cos you're the 'bad' person so everything gets blamed on you. People just want somebody to blame so that they can take their guilt off themselves. Or they just blame you but they don't understand the things going on underneath that problem. For example, people blame Cho the Virginia Tech killer but they don't understand what's going through his mind and just easily assume him to be a bad person. Things like these don't happen overnight. It's the like how a frog when put in a pot of cold water will sit there happily until the water boils and by then it will be too late. He will be cooked. People just look at the end product. People just look at the problem and assume things not realizing there is an underlying problem.

And it's easier on girls than on guys. Why has none of the past school shootings been girls? Is it because girls have the tendency to be less violent? Probably. But the more exact answer would be that girls have outlets to let these negative emotions out. They have their 'girlfriends', their shopping (retail therapy) and their what have they not... Basically they let out their emotions in less violent ways. On the other hand, men tend to bottle things up, keep things to themselves. They neither express it nor try to 'cure' it. When this bottle gets too full, it explodes. This is when things like school shootings or male suicides happen. Statistics have shown that for every 1 female suicide there are 4 male suicides. (http://menshealth.about.com/cs/mentalhealth/a/suicide.htm) That statistic should at least prove something. I'm not saying that this excuses everything but it's the underlying problems under the problem which everyone only look at. Cheers... _|_

Welcome to cold turkey hell...

Have anyone of you tried quitting 2 addictions at the same time? It's a fucking PAIN-IN-THE-ARSE!!! Quitting 1 is already tough enough. Quitting 2 is like having your balls kicked, your head submerged in ice cold water and your hands being placed on hot coals all at once. Worse part is there are some symptoms to which you have a cure for but for others there is no cure. You just have to ride through it. Come to think of it one of the addiction was suppose to numb the withdrawal symptoms of the other in the first place anyway but what am I to do now? WHAT AM I TO DO NOW??? #%@&*(@#&*(!@&*(&%(*!%&!*&%#&(*@

A smoker friend of mine once told me that his ex-girlfiend asked him to quit smoking and his reply was that if he was to quit, she would have to give him an addiction stronger than smoking. We all know what that means...

The end of innocence... Part 2

Well lunch time has come and gone and my dad told my mom about it and my mom just confronted me about it and asked me a few questions and gave the usual nagging. Made me feel guilty and shitty. Not sure what's more to come but probably more verbal probing. Sigh... Life can't get any worse, can it???

The end of innocence...

Today didn't start off well. Woke up around 9 something as usual. Made my usual morning coffee and went out to my house balcony to have my usual morning smoke. And lo and behold my dad came back as I was smoking. OMG!!! He came back to get something from home and luckily he was in a rush so he didn't say much. He went off soon after getting what he wanted but I'm sure there will he repercussions to come...

(to be continued)

CPA 108 Reporting and Professional Practice... Do or Die...

This is what I'm suppose to be studying. I have my first CPA Program exam on the 3rd of May and I'm totally unprepared for it. I've only sorta started studying for it less than a week ago and even then I have not really covered that much ground. I guess it's gonna be a really bitchy week ahead if I really want to pass this stuff. It's hard to study when you've got so much on your mind. You feel so distracted and to some extent 'angry' to study. You just don't have the 'patience' to study when you feel so uptight and angry and miserable all at the same time. Well nothing much to say or do now except for study. We'll all see when the results gets released on 15th June. *crosses fingers*


The first picture just shows the file of material which I'm supposed to be studying and the 2nd picture just gives you a rough idea how much 'shit' I'm suppose to go through (approx 3.5cm) and the 3rd picture just shows the dividers which separates the material into 5 modules and a case study section. And the pass rate for CPA Program is not 50% like in uni or in sch. It's approx 60-65% which is prob why people say CPA is not for everyone. For all you people out there thinking of doing CPA think again cos it ain't no easy shit. What more now I'm not even working yet and I'm already complaining. When work comes it's gonna be a struggle juggling work, studies and social life. Maybe my friend was right. What social life would an auditor in Singapore have, what more with studies to handle. We'll see...

Extreme Boredom: Mad Scientist

This is me wearing my brother's lab coat and the only tie I have (for now) and some funky looking lab goggles which I found lying around the house. This is what extreme boredom/stress can do to you.

You have two choices...

YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES

Jerry is the Manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood.
When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply:
"If I were any better, I would be twins!"
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs,
so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant

Why???

Because Jerry was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling him
how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and
asked him:

"I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do
you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two
choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a
bad mood.

I always choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I
can choose to be victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose
to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their
complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose
the positive side of life."

"But it's not always that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said.

"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice.

You choose how you react to situations.
You choose how people will affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood

"It's your choice how you live your life."

Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business. He left the back door of his restaurant open. And then in the morning, he was robbed by three armed men.

While Jerry trying to open the safe box, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination.

The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullet s still in his body

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied.

"Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared" I asked?

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine.

But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.

I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything."

'Yes,' to bullets, I replied.

Over their laughter, I told them: "I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

"Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it.

The only thing that is truly yours - that no one can control or take from you is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

This was taken apparently from one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series but I got it through an email. I guess what it says really tells us how we should lead our lives and be optimistic. Good advice especially in times when you're lost in the 'noise' of this world. And btw this is the first post after a long break. You can say things kinda got busy and hectic. Welcome back...