Stuck in Miri for 1 more night

Fuck!!! The last day of summer school ends today. I was suppose to go back in the evening after my class but no the fucked up taxi driver forgot about me after I called him twice, once yesterday and once today. He was suppose to come at about 4pm and when I finally called him after waiting for half an hour or more, he said he was at the fucking immigration already. Like fuck man. So he said he'll arrange for a special trip back to Brunei tomorrow morning but that's like 1 night wasted. It's already a short enough period that I'm spending in Brunei and now 1 more night. Well there's nothing much I can do now except for wait.

Part of my anger also stem from the fact that if I did have a/my/the car here in Miri, I would even be home by 5pm but NOOOOOO. I can't be trusted with a car anymore because of my past sins. "Paying for my past sins by giving the ultimate sacrifice." That would be fun. Fuck. It's like everytime I try to make my life work here(in Miri), my past always come back to haunt me. Life's a test, a test of patience, tolerance, integrity, honesty and a whole load of other bull crap. And if you don't do well in those tests, it fucks you up and spits you out, leaving you more fucked up than you can ever be. Imagine now I've only been through such a short period of my life and already you're serving so much shit for your sins so imagine when you die, the HELL you will have to pay for the sins of your whole life. That would be even more fucked up I reckon. Shit!!!

Another issue that's always been on my mind ever since I was young was the afterlife. This stems from the fact that I've always been scared of death and would always have images of some character coming to bring me to the afterlife. From this obsession with death also comes the issue of religion because religion is the only thing that tries to define the afterlife. With Christianity it's trust in Jesus and you'll be on your express train journey to heaven. With Islam, it's blow yourself to pieces and you'll go to heaven with 21 virigins waiting for you. With Buddhism, it's do good deeds and maintain a good karma and you'll be reincarnated into something better or something liddat. Not so sure about the other minor religions but I guess they follow more or less the same line of thought. So it boils down to the question, Which religion do you believe in? I've been brought up as a Buddhist with both my parents being Buddhist but being around the world and sorta exposed to everything, I've just been really open minded and also exposed extensively to Christianity. That does not mean that I believe in Christianity though because I'm the sort of person who does not accept something easily and tend to question something based on my prior knowledge of things in general and also through my own doubt and reasoning. So in the meantime I consider myself a free thinker whilst waiting for the supposedly outer-world experience to hit me and shove me to take an alliance of some sort. I've even considered being a Muslim but I really love pork and I believe that if you're gonna believe in any religion, you need to be fully compliant of its rules. This also can be debatable with many olden issues of religion being debated in this secular modern world which we live in. One of the issues recently brought up by priests in Australia is that they wish to include married men in the clergy. This is due to the declining number of ordained priests due to older priests retiring and also of younger priests unwilling to take up service due to the issue of celibacy. So maybe in the future there is a chance of me becoming a pork eating Muslim???