Repentance...

*i've traveled on many journeys with you, just not the journey to heaven and for that i regret ~ JC*

I started going to church about a month back or so. This is the first time I've been to church voluntarily. I guess it was just a search for more profound answers, a search which lead to God. I guess this search gets more pronounced when you start working where you start questioning your purpose in life and the whole meaning to it. And when you go to church and see the people in it and how God touched their life and somehow even though they come from different backgrounds and different walks of life, you can see the hands of God moving in them. They just live with a zest for life, moving with a purpose, a purpose with God.

When I accepted Jesus in my life last sunday, I didn't felt the over joyous feeling described by some people. Instead I felt this wash of inner calm flow over me, a feeling of peace and silent joy, as if a storm calmed by God's hands. Till today that thought still puts a smile on my face whenever I think about it. I think that storm was all the burdens of life which I was carrying all this while and now that He is by my side, He has lifted that burden from my shoulders and set me free. This is of course followed by many thoughts and feelings to which is too overwhelming to describe. But most of all I thank all who have share their lives with me, how they came to meet God and how it changed their lives. This is just the beginning of a long journey, a journey of ups and downs. The only difference from before is that now I have Him by my side. God bless...

If only...

Choices

Our lives are dictated by the choices and decisions we make. Every choice, small or big, we make will have repercussions, whether now or in the future. That is why it is important to isolate each and every moment we live in and see each moment for what it really is, that moment. We must detach any emotions or feelings we might have for that moment and look at it for that moment itself and see it without bias. It sounds easier than it seems but by doing this, we make a choice based on that moment itself without bias and by doing so, the ultimate best end result can be achieved. We achieve self-realisation. For further thoughts, go watch the movie, The Drummer.

On another note of making choices, not doing anything is also making a choice. You have made a choice not to do anything. Hence not doing anything about your current situation does not mean you're better off. A good illustration would be someone who's contented with his life or just can't be bothered to advance when he/she could be doing something better. Someone who has a reasonable job which allows him/her to work from 9-5 and pays an average salary. He/she on the other hand could go for more training, as it's so thoroughly emphasized by the Singapore government, and advance further in his/her career and take on more responsibilities and achieve something better for himself/herself. There are many cases of people who have just completed secondary education but have went on to take courses to better themselves and hence their respective companies have recognised this initiative to learn and better themselves and promoted them. Ultimately, it's up to YOU. There are both sides of the argument as always but it boils down to one thing.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Hence the CHOICE of doing something about it or not doing anything about it. What do you want out of life ladies and gentlemen?

*a nice way to distract myself from studying for my exam and offloading my thoughts...

MOS Trance Event: The Nightmare before Halloween

Feat. TRANSMISSION with PAUL JOHNSON (UK)

www.ministryofsound.com.sg/halloween

Twas’ the night before Halloween
When He awoke from slumber’s keep
For only this one night a year
He was free with fellow ghouls to creep
Drowsy from days gone past
His crave for Music was rightly just
So He dons this fur of white
To keep the Pumpkin away from sight
And thus begins this search to quench
His need for Trance and yearning for Dance

And now we invite you to join us at this fearsome scene
At The Ministry of Sound’s Nightmare before Halloween

Celebrating only the credible Trance music producers from the past to present day, Paul Johnson (UK) will take you on an uplifting trip as he brings you on a melodic journey with killer riffs and epic anthems in the main arena.

Embrace the sound that is fronted by the likes of Armin van Buuren, Above & Beyond, Paul van Dyk, Ferry Corsten and Tiësto - who are among last year's top 20 DJs.

Transmission isn't just another night, it is a gearshift to take you higher.

ALL IN FULL HALLOWEEN COSTUME ENTER FOR FREE!

Cover charges on 27 OCTOBER :
Before 10.30pm - $15 for men and $12 for ladies (both covers include 1 drink) and
After 10.30pm - $25 for men and $20 for ladies (both covers include 2 drinks)

Happiness...

Happiness is a butterfly which when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp,
but which,
if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.

The Forsaken by William Wordsworth

The peace which other seek they find;
The heaviest storms not longest last;
Heaven grants even to the guiltiest mind
An amnesty for what is past;
When will my sentence be reversed?
I only pray to know the worst;
And wish as if my heart would burst.

O weary struggle! silent year
Tell seemingly no doubtful tale;
And yet they leave it short, and fear
And hopes are strong and will prevail.
My calmest faith escapes not pain;
And, feeling that the hope in vain,
I think that she will come again.

to quit or not to quit...

went to see those nicotine patch thingy today. costs like $35 per box which lasts for 7 days. but they're having promotion with $55 for 2 boxes which means 1 month will cost about $110. that's about how how i spend on cigarettes in a month anyway. so the question now is to quit or not to quit? it's like giving up on a very dependable old friend, one which has always been there for me, one that calms me down regardless time or day. only time will tell...

Suicidal tendencies...

I'm sure many people have, at one point of time or another, thought of committing suicide. That thought comes when you reach a certain point in your life where all seems lost and there's no hope other than to end life itself. Some people however have not been through this feeling as their lives are all rosy and dandy. For those of us who have been through this feeling however, it seems that the only way to solve our problems is to end life itself. The problem we face seem so unsolvable that the only way to 'solve' it is to 'cure' it once and for all. It's a somewhat liberating feeling to know that you're finally ending that problem. However most problems aren't that extreme to the extent that you would actually 'cure' it as it takes a lot of courage to actually go through with the act itself. Therefore there are times when you wish someone would do it for you. And there are many a times when I actually wish something or someone would actually do it on my behalf. For eg. when crossing the road, I wished some raving drunkard would come throttling along in his car and hit the shit out of me. Or when I was in Genting riding the amusement rides, that it would fall and crash hurtling to the ground below and smash into a million pieces, bringing me along to my maker. Or when the train or bus I'm riding on would explode into smithereens through the will of some terrorist. Who knows... Somehow, somewhere I wish someone/something... would take the will to live out of me, to end me of my misery... Only God knows...